To say that life has been overwhelming the past 9 days would be an understatement. They have been more than that. Much more. My mom has compared it to the excitement over a newborn. You have prayed, you have pleaded with God, please let me have a baby. I can't wait for that newborn. I imagine the yummy smell, the soft breath, and eye fluttering sleep. And the prayer is answered. I am holding a delicious newborn, straight from heaven up above, here is a baby for you to love. And two seconds after that newborn is in your arms, reality hits. You are exhausted. You have just been in labor for hours, not sleeping for weeks prior to delivery. Your body has just climbed Mt. Everest and you are holding the sweetest thing you have ever seen and that sweetness will proceed to suck the ever loving life out of you for the next 12-15 months. Your husband can't believe you are bawling your eyes out 4 days into this longed for adventure. He's staring at the mess you are, wondering where his wife went. But you do love this baby and you did want him/her, and that doesn't mean that you don't just because you are asking your facebook friends if a human can die from sleep deprivation. I did find out after one mom's desperate plea, that mice will die from sleep deprivation. So there you have it. It can happen.
And even though I don't have a newborn at the moment. I am exhausted much like my previous brushes with death. Oh, I mean, after the 4 blissful babies I had. I have worked myself to the edge. Battling strep throat all while getting my house ready to sell. Taking a months worth of home improvements and cramming them into 4 days. Yep, that'll do it. I painted until 3 am while running a fever and drinking cup after cup of hot tea because my throat was on fire. Afterwards, I'd have to pop a pain pill just to sleep for four hours and be able to swallow. Now that the sore throat misery has passed and the work hasn't. I. Can't. Go. Another. Minute!
Today, at 8:30 am, carpet men showed up to stretch and tack my carpet. 8:30 am! Did I mention I was exhausted? Oh yes, I did. I am throwing clothes on as fast as possible. And they come in and proceed to tear apart my sparkling clean house. I am in the kitchen taking slow deep breaths while I fill sippy cups and cook biscuits for the 4 ankle biters, listening to KLOVE to absorb some sort of peace for my anxious heart and the news comes on. In between hearing how Obama thinks he's going to help the peace process with Israel and the Palastenians, they casually mention that incandescent bulbs will no longer be available thanks to the government come December. And in that instant, visuallizing florescent light filling my house and those ugly twisty bulbs visible in all my light fixtures, I had a full blown panic attack. That's it. It's more than I can bear. I emotionally cannot handle florescent light. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I told the carpet men I would be back in 30 min. I put the kids in the car, went to Target, bought Benjamin some Lightening McQueen underwear, so I could change him 20 times today and then proceeded to Harps to buy hamburger meat and incandescent light bulbs. I am still exhausted, but the 8 bucks I spent on 4 packs of bulbs helped to begin my stockpile.
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