Learning Jabanese?

Their is NEVER and I mean NEVER a dull moment in this glorious, lively home.

Over these last four years of homeschooling, I have encountered my fair share of opinions and comments. There are obvious ones, like "what about socialization with kids their age?" And comments, like "Oh wow, you must have tons of patience! I could never do that!" The truth is, my kids are extremely social... have you met them? And I have NO PATIENCE! I do not posses some type of super power that makes me able to tolerate the day in and day out responsibility of training their little minds. I frequently dream of sending them out to the bus stop with their cute little backpacks and lunches packed. I have lots of days when one of them, or all of them for that fact, struggle with a concept, and I wonder,"isn't there someone more qualified to teach this to you?" I have weekends when I am grading papers or preparing the next weeks work, and I think of all the OTHER things I could be doing. Not fun things.... house things... laundry, dishes, cleaning out my closet. I am HUMAN. I am SELFISH. I sit and think about things like "me time."

There are moments I want to be free of this calling....

That is where it stops. I posses no super power... just a calling. All my negativity, my doubt, my fear, my selfishness... it all stops and I get up and and get down on my knees. I say, "Lord, it is you who called me to this, so you will have to do this work in me. I have to leave my room now and teach them, disciple them, lead them, MAKE THEM SMART and NOT SASSY all at the same time. I have to model what it is to be a christian, a mother who loves her children, her husband, and YOU! I can't do this without you Lord. I am selfish. I want to do something easier. I want this... I want that... I want YOU. Empty me and fill me with YOU. SO I can do this... so I can do this again today. Make my words sweet, kind, loving. Give me PATIENCE. I love you."

And that is how it happens. And when I don't do this... this cry for help... it doesn't happen. It's an uphill battle all day. Tears, frustration, harsh words, irritated mommy, irritated kids. Until, I run to my room, shut the door and fall at His feet.

BUT MY OH MY HE IS FAITHFUL!!!!!!!

He pours His love on me so I can pour it on them. He orders my steps, He lights my path. He brings JOY to my JOurneY. He makes my crooked paths straight. He shows me the blessings in my work... I find joy in dishes, laundry, crying baby, fighting sisters, phonics, and teaching the 5 steps of division. He opens my eyes to the work being done on the inside, in my heart and theirs. He shows me how taking a road less traveled leads to a secret garden of riches. Riches unknown to the world. He shows me smiles that I would miss, tears I couldn't wipe away, fears I wouldn't know to pray for, struggles I wouldn't see coming. He shows me the principle of sowing and reaping. He helps me plant and rejoices in my harvest. When I don't think I can do it one more day.... HE is faithful.

The truth is:
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he[c] predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9And he[d] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11In him we were also chosen,[e] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:3-14

I can only do this thing because of Him. I can only do all things because of Him. Without him there is no JOY in my journey.
And I would hate giving up this journey. The difficult things draw me closer to Him. An easy life leads me to complacency. Were it not for this most difficult task of homeschooling, shepherding my children's hearts, I would have missed out on moments like this....

Me: What is this word Abby? n/a/g
Abby: n/n/n/a/a/g.... NAG!
Me: Right. What does nag mean?
Abby: Like, "don't nag me."
Me: Exactly
Me: Look at the next one... j/a/m
Abby: j/j/a/m... Jam, like jelly.
Me: What is this word Abby? j/a/b
Abby: j/j/a/a/a/b.... JAB!
Me: That's right Abby! Good job.
Abby: Jab. Like Jabanese!