Everything IS beautiful

Starfield - Everything Is Beautiful
From the album Beauty In The Broken

Worn out, wasted
Like a bird with broken wings
Sometimes grace reminds me
I don't get to be the king

But love it washes over
Love it pulls me closer
Love it changes everything

Everything is beautiful
Even when the tears are falling
I don't need a miracle to believe
Even in the crashing down
I can hear redemption calling
And everything is beautiful to me

Sweetly, You release me
From the weight of what I've done
The trigger trips the hammer
But the bullets never come

And love it washes over
Love it pulls me closer
Love it changes everything

Everything is beautiful
Even when the tears are falling
I don't need a miracle to believe
Even in the crashing down
I can hear redemption calling
And everything is beautiful to me

And love like a landslide
Like the wind
Spins around me pulls me in
At it's unveiling, I begin

Everything is beautiful
Even when the tears are falling
I don't need a miracle to believe
Even in the crashing down
I can hear redemption calling
And everything is beautiful to me (2x)

Today has been rough to say the least. I have been challenged at every turn. I have felt the rising up of anger, the shortness of my temper. I have felt the nagging of irritation, like sandpaper on my skin. My body has physically ached with a deep throbbing headache. My hair needed to be washed. The shower was growing mold, and I was not going to let that go another day. I had a bag of onions needing to be chopped and frozen (an entire post to itself). Dinner had to be made early for several reasons. No more saving money... that has led to my demise today.

We have been eating out like crazy lately. For convenience, mostly. With us going out of town this weekend, the kids will be left with our sweet babysitter. So our house needs food. I make a trip to the store for some fresh veggies and fruit and other healthy things to cook. Harp's is running a deal on produce. I take advantage and stock up. So included in that bounty were onions and zucchini. I only needed 2 onions. One for chicken noodle soup and one for zucchini casserole. But because I saved some money, I ended up with 10! They can't just sit on the counter or hide in the pantry and get yucky. I am leaving town, they need to be chopped and frozen for future recipes. So onions, along with the zucchini casserole and moldy shower made it on my to do list today.

But my to do list holds too much today. After a poor nights sleep, due to a severe thunderstorm, I awake drowsy and tired. I jump up despite my body's cry to sleep just one more hour. The to do list is calling. I rush to get dressed, rush to make breakfast, rush to feed the baby, rush through devotions, rush to demonstrate a science experiment in the moldy shower, rush kids to do school, rush to clean the shower, rush to wash the sheets, rush to chop onions.... and I rush and I rush and I rush. And through the rushing the tension is building, the frustration is growing, by afternoon the baby is crabby, the kids are fighting, and the clock is ticking. Only 1 more hour until gymnastics... dinner isn't ready, baby needs to go to the chiropractor. What if his crabbiness is due to all the coughing and chest congestion? I can't leave him if he's sick. And the panic sets in and the worry begins.

I stop, I pray. God, I know you give me strength for Your work. Is this Your work or mine?

Deep... cleansing.... breaths.

God is near. I can feel Him. i wrestle with flesh and blood. I want to give in to frustration, to anger, to short tempers, and harsh words. But I don't. He gives me strength to bite my tongue... to give a smile... to kiss a fussy baby... to mend a sister squabble... to quickly (slowly) chop 10 onions... to make zucchini casserole... to go to the chiropractor.... to make it to gymnastics on time.... TO WASH MY HAIR.

And then.....

Everything is beautiful
Even when the tears are falling
I don't need a miracle to believe
Even in the crashing down
I can hear redemption calling
And everything is beautiful to me